Our Self-Created Piles Of Poo

Forgive me for my brief absence from writing.  I was side-tracked by fun, a bunch of obligations, and well...a lack of inspiration.  But the Universe gave me a kick in the pants, and voila-- inspiration for tonight's blog entry.

So I have a question--Who else has had this experience?:

You make a mistake (whether it be something you said that hurt someone's feelings or you forgot to do something you said you would do or maybe you spoiled your healthy eating habits by overindulging yet again.)  and before you know it, you spiral out of control into a series of debilitating, self-deprecating thoughts?  AND before you know it, you are suddenly this horrible person that can do no right?!

So, I had this experience just yesterday.  Fortunately, it's been a while since I've attacked myself in this way.  I've come a long way from having a habitual practice of cognitively distorting every single experience in life.  That is a terrible way to live, by the way.

I won't go into details about what happened but I will try to explain to you where my mind went afterwards.  So, it began with the tiny mistake, which I made out to be one gigantic unforgivable mistake (cognitive distortion: magnification), which turned into the first words out of my mouth "I'm an asshole." (cognitive distortion: labeling)  I quickly forgot about the spiritual enlightenment I received earlier that day, and how I nurtured two of my best girlfriends over the weekend and how much fun and bursting with love I have been recently.  (cognitive distortion: discounting the positives)  I assumed that other people must think I'm horrible--on what grounds?  couldn't tell ya...but I assumed people must think that.   (cognitive distortion: mind-reading) And then one negative thought led to another until I was certain that I have been delusional this whole time thinking things in my life were going swimmingly (cognitive distortion: over-generalization--viewing the negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat)

Sound neurotic?  uh...it is!  It is really hard to admit that my mind can be so wild and untamed and attacking.  But on Friday afternoon I had the good fortune of speaking with the wonderful author and spiritual guru, Gabby Bernstein on the phone.  I asked her what her advice would be for someone who would want to have a similar career as hers and her response was "Just share your truth."  So, that's what I'm doing here...trying to help others by being candid and sharing my insight.

So, now for the insight...
It's great to be aware of the evil-doings of your ego...but knowing what to do next is especially prudent.  You certainly can't let those self-deprecating thoughts drag you down into a bottomless abyss of self-hatred (I've been there and it's hella hard to get back out!)  This is what I do--I write down all those thoughts that come up and then counter each one of them with fact-based statements until the neurotic thought makes no sense and I can't possibly put stock in it.  Then I finish it off with an affirmation.  Here's an example:

Poopy thought:  I said something that hurt my friend's feelings.  I am an utter asshole.
Facts:  Is what I did all that bad?  Not really and a good friend is understanding and forgiving.
Affirmation:  I am a valued friend.  My friends have confidence and trust in me and love me very much.

I just continue to do this with the barrage of poopy thoughts that ensue after the initial one because inevitibly that's what happens most of the time.

Now I'd like to hear from you:
*  What's your experience with this?
*  What steps do you take to dig yourself out of this pile of 
       poo you've buried yourself in when it happens?

And yet you still come out smelling like roses....thanks for sharing! :)
xoxoxo,
Brooke