Do It FOR Love, Do It OUT OF Love, Do It WITH Love

As I was meditating this morning, I was becoming incredibly anxious.  I kept thinking "OMG, I have so much I want and need to do today, how am I ever going to get it done?!"  I have gift shopping to do...I have to clean because it looks like a tornado hit my apartment and I'm embarrassed to have anyone see it...I was hoping to do yoga this morning...there's a 3-hour workshop after church I committed myself to (and want to go to)...then there's homework due to tomorrow...I want to spend some quality time with my best friend this evening...and NOW I suddenly feel inspired to blog!  There isn't a enough time in the day!  Agggghhhhh!

I could feel my brow start to tense and then came the shoulders and then the shallow breathing and then I think..."why on Earth am I getting so worked up over this?"  If you think about it, this is soooo trivial in the grand scheme of things and I'm allowing myself to nearly reach a full-blow panic attack over it?  What the heck?!  Obviously, if I let go of a couple of these to-do items today or table them for another time, nothing even remotely horrible is going to happen so why is it that am I catastrophizing?

I think the reason for this is that I'm trying to be perfect.  Yes, perfect--that's what our higher power is expecting us to be, right? Uh...please tell me you didn't sincerely say yes to that.  A goal of perfection in everyday life is most certainly going to produce debilitating anxiety because it just ain't possible!

So, when I noticed this anxiety happening during my meditation, I simply took a deep breath and returned to that loving, peaceful place inside of me.  Then the thought occurred to me that I don't have to try to make everything happen.  But I wondered how do I prioritize things in my life and make sure I'm making the best decisions in the moment?  And the beautiful message came to me to ask myself when in decision-making mode - "Is this for love?  Is this out of love?  Is this with love?"  And if the answer is yes, then tally-ho--let's go!  If it's an underwhelming "uh, maybe?" or "not really" then I know it's something that can be tabled or maybe even dropped completely.

The goal in life isn't to achieve perfection--it's to cultivate love and share it with the world!!  If you believe in a power greater than yourself, then believe that this is the only expectation that that higher power has of you.  Phew...what a relief to know this... I can handle this! :)

What does it mean to do something FOR love and OUT OF love?  Are you choosing to engage in an activity for the sake of perpetuating more love?  If the answer is yes--then do it!  If the goal is to elevate yourself to your highest good and to elevate others to their highest good, then do it.  But if it's something that causes you pain or discomfort, OR if it's seriously detrimental to your health, OR it's manipulative OR it gets you all stirred up with anger, OR it causes someone else pain or discomfort, OR if it's something that you feel guilty or ashamed of, etc...then, one of two things needs to happen.  You need to either not engage in it at all or you can choose a different approach.  You can restructure the task or activity or reframe the experience so that it is more aligned with love and if this doesn't seem possible at this point in time, then drop it for now.  

I was so glad to receive this message from my inner guide today because now I'm comforted in knowing how I'm going to decide what's going to happen and what's not and how I'm going to go about doing those things.  The "how" is the manner in which I engage in each task/activity, which is with a loving and present-mindedness.  With this attitude any activity can be a positive experience...even laundry!!  Bleh.  This is what it means to do it WITH love.

How do you do that?  First of all, always be mindful when engaged in an activity--it is super loving to be present.  Think about how much you appreciate it when someone is really present with you when you are talking--and you know that the person is sincerely interested in what you are saying and his/her mind isn't anywhere else?  Isn't that love?!  So do this with all your tasks, not just when you are having a conversation.

Having a loving attitude is remembering why whatever you are engaged in is for love, out of love, and with love.  It's easy to realize why spending time with another person comes from a place of love and perpetuates even more love - but maybe it's not as easy to remember when you are scrubbing the toilet.  That's where gratitude comes in - while you are mindfully scrubbing away, be thankful for that toilet!  Rename it "Porcelain Goddess."  Be thankful for the home in which you and that toilet co-habitate!

So, here are those steps for dealing with "I-must-be-perfect-and-succeed-with-my-over-committed-schedule-anxiety" summarized:

1.  Take a deep breath and return to your peaceful, loving state.
2.  Ask yourself "Is this for love?  Is this out of love?  Is this with love?"
3.  If the answer is no, drop it and move on.  If the answer
     is yes, approach the task with a loving and present-mindedness.

Looking back on my to-do list for today, I realize there's nothing on there that wouldn't be aligned with love for me.  However, I had too many things on that list and something had to go.  What I had to do was prioritize the things on that list and choose whatever was going to be of the highest service to love (spending extra time with my BFF) and drop what ever was lower and could wait.

Let me hear from you!  How do you approach everyday life with love? How do you cultivate more love?  How can I help you become better practiced at this?

Much love,
Brooke